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A Very Long Engagement. How Long Is Too Long?

My Fiance Chris and I. Engaged for 1 year, 11 months & Counting. Which brings us to discuss… What do people think & say about very looooong engagements?

Why Have a Very Long Engagement? There are many reasons why couples choose an extended engagement period. Some of the more common explanations include: Military service including possible deployments overseas Finishing a college degree at a distant university Saving enough money to pay for the wedding independently Serving a religious or humanitarian mission Moving to a new home or buying a house.

Or My Reason:


Hence, why my clients sweetly refer to me as the Wedding Planner who can’t plan her own wedding! Kinda like the movie… Whether the couple plans a very long engagement because of personal, financial, or social reasons, they must be prepared to weather questions and concerns from well-meaning people who want to see them finally wed. Being prepared to deal with those questions and knowing how to plan through an extended engagement will help the couple draw closer during their courtship than they might during a whirlwind engagement.

What Makes It Long? The typical engagement period, from the time of the marriage proposal to exchanging vows, is typically 8-12 months. For some couples, even a year may be a long time, particularly if their lives are in a state of upheaval and they’re experiencing a lot of changes, or if they’ve already been together for several years. On the other hand, for a couple planning an elaborate wedding or with other immediate concerns, even two years may not seem long. What makes a very long engagement depends on the couple, and even though a few months may seem like an eternity when you are eager to begin your life together, those planning months are critical to developing your relationship for a successful marriage. Dealing with Family and Friends Depending on a couple’s individual circumstances, family members and friends may or may not be pleased about the idea of a very long engagement. An engagement party can encourage their support and let them get to know both the bride- and groom-to-be while celebrating the couple’s new status.

Honesty is critical when explaining the length of your engagement, and be sure to illustrate how a long term courtship is the best option for your situation. It is also important to remember that your relationships may change during a long engagement. Try not to commit to including certain people in the bridal party or other critical wedding roles until the wedding date is nearer and your plans are being finalized.

Whatever you choose to do, own it. Don’t feel pressured into doing anything that’s not right for the both of you! Eventually things will happen just as they should…



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