TLC’s Candy Queen, Premiering Monday December 5 @ 10pm
Meet The Cast Of Our Big Ol Crazy Candy Family! YES! We actually REALLY do like each other, love each other, and are totally codependent of one- another! You Think Normal Folks End Up On TV??? C’Mon Now!!!!
Candy Queen, Baby Daddy & Heiress To The Candy Empire!
Jackie, Chris & Isabella Jelly Belly Bean! Jackie likes to work non-stop and grow her business into oblivion which has been a life-long dream of hers since before she was even conceived. She works until she passes out so she can avoid dealing with the fact that she’s overwhelmed with life but the truth is she works so damn hard because she loves her family so much she wants to do every single thing in her power to make them happy! Baby Daddy Chris is a loving , supportive, sweet, gentle, kind, calm, normal and wonderfully supportive husband who lets his wife drive him crazy all the time and is the Best Father On Earth- He LIVES for his family and if he had it his way would want 20 babies! (Bow Chicka Wow, Wow) The Cougars in the neighborhood really appreciate him too! Isabella is the Heiress To The Candy Empire which will one day all belong to her (* insert deviant baby giggle here) She’ll soon be big sis to her lil brother, Lord Lollipop who is due any day now. Isabella is trained in the art of giving the Cougars evil eyes and inappropriate hand gestures when they stare at her daddy for way too long! RUDE!
Bree a.k.a. Banana a.k.a Number ONE!
Banana is so sweet, loving, kind, super smart, Bedazzler, Rhinestoner and kinda Perfect ( she hates when we say that too) Banana was the very 1st Candy Girl ever in existence on planet earth! She is our outfit coordinator, candy girl stylist, personal party planner, Candy Boy Joey’s Woman & an amazing daughter & friend to everyone. She’s the type of friend that everyone should have and when we need to get to the front of a line or be first somewhere or get into VIP spots- we push her up front and we get in really fast, get stuff for free and are usually bumped to the front rows of things when she’s around.. People are usually not born this lovely but she was and it’s totally REAL!!! Jackie really admires banana for over-coming so much in her young life and they have a pretty deep sisterly bond.
Jessica- Yessie- Angry Jessica!
Jess is our NO Nonsense chick. She is sarcastic, drives the Candy Queen Bonkers because she likes to argue all the time and thinks she’s always right. Jessica however, is also so loyal has been with Jackie from day ONE, works her ass off, is secretly sensitive and loves dogs- particularly her little Chiuaua Bambi who sadly is no longer with us yet haunts her in her dreams. We are working on adopting her a new Chiuaua but have not told her yet. Jessica would do anything in the world for our candy family and although she refuses to EVER WEAR PINK or Ridiculous amounts of lip gloss like some of us- ( We Love & Adore Her) Jess is also a photographer and we think you should hire her and check out her website since she’s currently running a special on Holiday Portraits and will hook you up! (www.jessicaherreraphotography.com) FREE PUBLICITY BIATCH!! You’re Welcome!
Candy Girl Cam!
Cam’s our newest Candy Girl. She’s really good at being efficient & fast and creating really fancy word documents on the computer that impress the boss! She has 456 thousand cousins and when when her boyfriend calls her she answers in her baby voice and says ” Hey Baby SSSSSSup Boo” Cam is super smart and is also earning her Masters Degree in some fancy subject other than C-A-N-D-Y! Y’all beta Reco-nize!!!
Candy Boy Joey- Boey!
Ugh! Boey is so freakin’ cute and not be be superficial but his ABS are RIDONKULOUS & So are his Muscles! He loves to work out, eat boring foods like chicken, protein shakes and something called brown rice and Quinoa..He’s funny and silly and totally does not mind being around us ( even when we’re in our super annoying- high pitched- hyper-active girly moods) He’s Banana’s Boy friend and they are nauseatingly in love and one day when they make babies we’re going to sell them on ebay for 5 Trillion dollars because they will be like the rarest most beautifully chiseled diamonds on earth and people will pay a ton for them! We will sell to the highest bidders of course!
Adam! Candy Mechanic Slash Engineer Slash Incredible Carver, Sculpter, Stuff Maker!
Adam is our Homeboy who makes the most insane stuff you’ve ever seen in your life-Our Candy Creations, Edible Art & Sugary Masterpieces would be unable to move, explode, sparkle, dance , rotate, light up, light on fire and basically have heart beats without him! Adam’s brain is from another planet- and his brain is supported by the most legit head of perfectly styled man hair! He’s got better hair then every single one of the girls too which says a lot about how important his luscious locks are to not only him but all of us! Adam’s a wonderful husband & dad to his awesome wife Corrie & Their Beautiful Daughter! Adam also looks like he should be in a Twilight Movie.. Right? He So Does! So Edward!
Joey!!! Girl Joey!!!! a.ka. Joanna!
Joey is our Fun, Wacky, Football Lovin, Boy Lovin, Party Lovin’, Life Lovin’ Candy Girl! Joey is the type of girl who everyone loves and wants to hang with! Joey has the greatest laugh ever- it’s Freakin’ LOUD! She puts any dudes knowledge of football to shame. I think she likes some people called The Green Bay Packets or Packers or Pack Mans! Something like that! Joey, Cam & Banana all grew up together and are BFF’S Who somehow fell into the insane life of the Candy Queen and they are all now forever connected! Some people just exude fun and Joey is that chick! PS- She likes to work in Candy Girl Land like one day a week and is usually late to our party but we adore her anyway!
Baby Lord Lollipop.. on the way & will arrive any day now
We don’t know how to describe this little boy since he’s not here yet however, his mother assumes he will come into the world with Sparkles, Glitter & Confetti Cannons Popping Off! He will Twirl, Do The Splits & Be Fabbbbbbulous! His father has another opinion though and thinks he will be pitching for the New York Yankees one day! All we know is we loved him the minute we found out he was conceived ( bow-chicka-wow-wow) and no matter what- he’ll fit right in with the rest of us wether he likes it or not!
The Grandparents To The Candy Empire! Georgie & Arci!
These are two of the most awesome, loving, supportive, funny and kind parents a candy girl could ever have! The Candy Queens mom and dad keep their daughter in check because she often needs to be checked and is a bit over-loaded with life all the time! Without these two wonderful parents- the candy empire would totally fall apart! Mom and Dad are still so in Love with each-other and enjoying every single day of life to the fullest! They are the Candy Queen’s Hero’s and taught her the meaning of working hard, not complaining and over-coming any and all obstacles that life presents us with! They have funny accents, make inappropriate jokes, are always on Facebook and are simply RAD! They are in fact so RAD they took this photo in a grocery store and paid $14.99 for it and the oversized old fashioned telephone prop was thrown in for free!
Our Chiuaua rescued from Downtown LA for $40 bucks! She is kind of rude- sleeps under the covers and avoids eye contact at all times.
CHICO from Puerto Rico
He’s wayyyyyy nicer than Chloe and is a beautiful Mutt who we got in Pennsylvania! Chico has gnarly ass dog breath but we still let him kiss us because he’s so sweet. He smiles often.. really – he smiles. Look!
Mr. White a.ka. Blanquito
He is like 1000 years old and The Candy Queen rescued him from a park when she was 19 years old and her parents kept him ever since. Mr. White is a very smart man, he is loyal & loving and so spoiled if you knew how spoiled you’d think the Grandparents to the Candy Empire were nuts. He only likes gourmet food, does not appreciate fire works or the rain or cameras & flash photography. He’s Our Pal!